aghast

Been thinking a lot about the phrase "I am without myself".



My cousins' children.

That is all...

dyad

Been thinking about tunnel perspective.

Individual vs. Independent.

Theological syncretism.

I hate seeing passionate people getting discouraged because they make excuses based on this estranged notion of human nature. Don't blame human nature. It is not universal.

Unfortunately, I am an example myself.

stimuli

Currently at my parents', taking a break(?), doing little besides watching the news, milking demonoid, reading, watching hockey, and eating pralines.

My sister turned 30 today.

My best friend had a baby this past weekend.

culminate

patterns of my senses

...

words

Have been working on the interlocking word patterns and coming to a lot of great conclusions...connecting what I am doing artistically to the theories of physics and quantum mechanics.

It is really important to understand, and always keep in mind, the relationship between sensory experience and the individual.

My walls are breathing with words. Every time I look to my left, I see something "finished" that failed. It proves that even when you create the rules for your own games, you can end up at a dead end with lost control. In keeping with the scientific method and scientific experimentation, one can't always be right...even when all the factors, laws, and rules are laid down for you. The distraction stopped working after page 3. There are 40.

the hunter gets captured by the game

I have finished what I have been calling Visual Puzzles...the third.

I think this one is getting at this idea of space as canvas and repetition of image as space in a more interesting way.

I have nothing else to talk about except for my art work these days.

infatuation

Non-silver prints I have been working on. Printed on cotton.



Above is a cropped photo of a printed yardage piece I've been working on. It is an interlocking pattern of the word..."INFATUATION".

My senior presentation went well.

I am getting the season changing blues.

incinto

Went home this weekend. I didn't realize how much I needed that visit. Carly's baby is due on my birthday.

sort

Am I just making what looks like home...to me?

compositional puzzle #2

Different rules for this one. I used the three yards of fabric as the canvas and went with my mistakes making them look purposeful as I was printing. It was all based off of a tapestry I wove over the summer (set in the piece).

What's next? A larger than life portrait.

resolved

...and I wrote a poem in class yesterday.

THE
|<-------------------------------------->0
GAME
FINDING_____ETHOS
STIFF_______________SOUL
HALTS____________________LIFE
LAUGH________________________________EVERYWHERE
FEEL____EMPTY
YOURSELF___________YIELDING
HUMBLY_______________________GOING
HIGH____________________________________GRAVITY

i am trying to organize it

fibers crit space

A slight glimpse into a piece I am working on right now. I am trying to highlight the inherent qualities of the wall and let them instruct my ideas, in collaboration with my visual language, to create a compositionally comfortable piece. Sounds like a mouthful but it really isn't. I am adorning the wall, giving it beauty and a little bit of humor. I am using this wall as a site for a visual puzzle.

The first step was highlighting the holes in the wall that were preexisting in a way I saw most fit. This created its own pattern because of people's tendencies to pin their work in certain places. The next step was to layer my own self realized printed layer of hand drawn lines. This is playing with translucency and the idea that I wanted to display my printed design without disregarding how it communicates with what existed in its place originally. (so far it is said to look "beautiful")
My next step in this piece is to give the plug fixture purpose. (this could potentially be the angst or humor)

This was all just a puzzle I created for myself. I am trying to organize my ideas and solve it in a way that is comfortable for me.

Rule1: consider everything (in terms of the 'bigger picture')
Rule2: keep it quiet (so as not to let any of the elements overpower each other with their possibly different emotions)

new work space

So, I have been afforded a great new home to work in. This cubical is bare now but the walls will quickly be covered in fabrics and prints. Just you wait. I am very excited.

reintroduce text

Warily creating a label, I suppose.

I am developing a personal vocabulary to talk about art work and my intent with it.

I feel like a child, starting at the beginning, even though I know at the core they are all just words. I want it to be clear, though, that the art has its own vocabulary that is worth more than words.

I wrote this recently and stuck it on the wall of my studio.

"Art is a religion. Religion is just a word."

I think that sums it up.

Here is my in progress brainstorm. So far there are only two categories in my vocabulary. Space. and... Portrait. These lists are not necessarily synonyms but they are synonymous in my head....See what I mean...

Space: installation, organization, "the bigger picture", systems, reactionary, primary, choice, society, objective, sterilized, balance, repetition, units, angular, simple, large scale, industrial, relatable, universal, formal, considered, cohesive, limited elements, rules, regulations, games, control, us, surface, body

Portrait: quiet, image, figure, personal, memory, feminine, organic, precious, relative, narrative, relationship, domestic, growth, familiar, individual, singular, focused, comfortable, humane, story, free-form, me, emotive, depth, mind, decoration, delicate, interaction, civilization, selfish, secondary, me

Similar: line, symbol, personality, medium, reality, purpose

simulation

unnerving

like some kind of vegetable love

are you through?

considering abandonment

this is my father

get over it

cease to be

that is how strong this is

it isn't so much a matter of boiling

keep falling harder. and harder yet.

fall apart harder. harder harder.

from sol to eva

..."Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itchin, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rumbling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO!"...

trouble

i will continue to laugh in the face of a new day

portrait

he asked me what was wrong and told me to relieve anxiety however i saw fit so i drew a million plus lines on a wall with blue paint

unnumbered pages

flax

playing hooky

semiosis...kinda

he needs to stop talking at me

i miss painting